I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize