you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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