Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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