hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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