If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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