The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize