i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just cropdusted the office
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize