I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize