i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
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I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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