OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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