1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
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As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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