the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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