im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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