i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
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You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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