Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize