Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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