You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize