Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize