How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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