Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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