I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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