He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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