it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize