I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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