So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
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Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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