Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize