There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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