Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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