I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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