I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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