A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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