I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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