dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize