I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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