Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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