I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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