brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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