the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize