she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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