Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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