I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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