just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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