You can't motorboat a personality
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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