Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
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I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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