It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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