is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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