Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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