Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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