Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize