i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
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I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We're too hungover to prance.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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